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You Can’t Love and Support R. Kelly and Also Love Black Women and Children You Can’t Love and Support R. Kelly and Also Love Black Women and Children

For 24 years now (24!), R. Kelly’s behavior has been as essential to his place in the zeitgeist as his music.

Bill Cosby Wasn’t ‘Publicly Lynched’; He Hanged Himself Bill Cosby Wasn’t ‘Publicly Lynched’; He Hanged Himself

Just hours after Bill Cosby was found guilty of three counts of aggravated indecent assault, his publicists were busy making the media rounds. Publicist Andrew Wyatt called his recent guilty verdict a “public lynching,” and publicist Ebonee Benson invoked the story of Emmett Till—whose accuser, Carolyn Bryant Donham,…

The Voices Missing From #MeToo: Experiencing Sexual Assault as Butch The Voices Missing From #MeToo: Experiencing Sexual Assault as Butch

He was my dude, my nigga, my friend. The details of that night are mine to keep, a privacy I allow myself, even as I often openly share my childhood sexual trauma. This particular violation—rape—came at a crossroads in my life. I was figuring out two things: blackness and butchness, and trying hard to do “the most”…

We Don’t Love Men Like Fabolous. We Just Hate Women We Don’t Love Men Like Fabolous. We Just Hate Women

If there’s a takeaway from the revelation of and the reaction to Fabolous’ abuse of Emily Bustamante, his longtime girlfriend and the mother of his two children, it’s that there are no fresh takeaways from it.

Playing the Blame Game: Consent Is Both Simpler and More Complicated Than You Think Playing the Blame Game: Consent Is Both Simpler and More Complicated Than You Think

He liked me. I liked him back. I exchanged my phone number for his beeper information, and it was a go. In the days of analog communication—before inboxes and DMs—that is what a hookup entailed. His responses to my pages were timely, and he didn’t mind spending countless hours discussing hip-hop. I was digging…

Required Reading: 10 Things You Need to Know About Consent Required Reading: 10 Things You Need to Know About Consent

I don’t know about you, but I’m mentally exhausted by the multitude of sexual assault stories surfacing over the last few months—as we should be. Some of the stories shared through the #MeToo movement have triggered a range of emotions and questions; some may have come off as “gray areas.” How do we actually know when…

The Conversation About Aziz Ansari Is an Uncomfortable Mess, Which Is Why We Need to Have It The Conversation About Aziz Ansari Is an Uncomfortable Mess, Which Is Why We Need to Have It

If there were one word to accurately describe the now-much-discussed piece in which a young woman accuses Aziz Ansari of sexual assault on their first date, it would be “messy.” What’s laid in front of readers is an awkward and, at times, bare account of how the date devolved into a veritable tug-of-war of sexual…

Thoughts Can Do Harm: In Defense of ‘Policing’ Our Fantasies Thoughts Can Do Harm: In Defense of ‘Policing’ Our Fantasies

I wanted to kill my boyfriend in ways that let me observe his suffering and return the power in our relationship to my hands.

What Well-Meaning Men Don’t Understand When It Comes to Life as a Woman What Well-Meaning Men Don’t Understand When It Comes to Life as a Woman

It seems we can’t go but a few days without hearing about another famous man’s name being linked to sexual harassment allegations. This has led to conversations from well-meaning men who don’t understand the prevalence of the threat of harassment. Well-meaning men have asked everything from the stupid, “Do I need to…

How, if You’re a Man, to Deal With the Fact That You’re Probably Trash How, if You’re a Man, to Deal With the Fact That You’re Probably Trash

The one thing I keep coming back to when thinking about Louis C.K. now isn’t the bizarre and abusive sexual habits revealed, in detail, last week by the New York Times—repeated forms of sexual misconduct that confirm the long-standing rumors about him and validate platforms such as Gawker, which first reported on this…

Watch: Gabrielle Union Gets Candid About Her Own Rape

Gabrielle Union was raped while working at a Payless shoe store 25 years ago. She bravely details her sexual assault in her new book, We’re Going to Need More Wine. Union has been vocal about her assault since the beginning of her acting career and has become a leading voice for women of color in conversations about…

The Culture of Male Silence: Men Treat Sexual Assault Like America Treats White Supremacy The Culture of Male Silence: Men Treat Sexual Assault Like America Treats White Supremacy

I am not a religious man by any measure, but there are universal truths to which I adhere. I believe that love is a byproduct of love. I believe that hate made love to an orange, had a petty-ass baby, and that’s how we got the grapefruit. I believe that cats were put on earth to kill things. And I believe the universe…

Judge Says ‘Overweight’ Teenage Sexual Assault Victim Was Probably ‘Flattered’ by the Attention From Her Assailant Judge Says ‘Overweight’ Teenage Sexual Assault Victim Was Probably ‘Flattered’ by the Attention From Her Assailant

If you have ever questioned why some women choose not to come forward when they have been sexually assaulted or harassed, here is an example that may help you understand it a little better. A judge in Quebec presiding over a sexual assault trial referred to the victim as being “overweight” and suggested that she may…

I Have Been Raped by Far Nicer Men Than You I Have Been Raped by Far Nicer Men Than You

One night when I was riding home to New York City’s Brooklyn borough on the C train, an older man started smiling, making kissy faces and, eventually, miming sexual acts at me. I pointedly tried to ignore him as my discomfort grew; there weren’t that many people on the train, and my stop was coming up. The nearest…

Sending Unsolicited Pictures of Your Penis Is a Form of Sexual Harassment. Please Stop Doing This Sending Unsolicited Pictures of Your Penis Is a Form of Sexual Harassment. Please Stop Doing This

The other day, I got a notification on Snapchat that a man I wasn’t sure I knew added me. It said that he had added me by my user name, and his user name looked somewhat familiar, so, thinking it was possible we were already connected via social media, I added him back.

On Rape Culture and Men’s Empathy On Rape Culture and Men’s Empathy

With days left of college, a close friend of mine was drugged at a party.

‘Stealthing’ One Step Closer to Being a Form of Sexual Assault in Calif. ‘Stealthing’ One Step Closer to Being a Form of Sexual Assault in Calif.

In May, California Assemblywoman Cristina Garcia (D-Bell Gardens) introduced a bill that would define “stealthing” as a form of sexual assault, and on Tuesday the state Senate Public Safety Committee advanced the bill while acknowledging that it was unclear whether or how such a law would be enforced.

Judge in Idaho High School Football Hanger Case Lashes Out, Says It Was Not ‘Rape’ or ‘Racial’ Judge in Idaho High School Football Hanger Case Lashes Out, Says It Was Not ‘Rape’ or ‘Racial’

The Idaho judge who sentenced a former high school football player to just 300 hours of community service after he “more than likely” raped a developmentally disabled African-American teammate has accused the press (and public) of misrepresenting what happened. The judge says the case is not about “rape” or “sex” and…

‘Police Rapists’: Protests Erupt in Paris After Police Charged in Rape of Black Man ‘Police Rapists’: Protests Erupt in Paris After Police Charged in Rape of Black Man

Editor’s note: Trigger warnings: rape, sexual violence, state violence, anti-blackness. Four police officers in a Paris suburb allegedly raped a 22-year-old black man, and protesters are seeking justice.

NYPD Captain Says Department Is More Focused on Rape by Strangers, Not Acquaintances NYPD Captain Says Department Is More Focused on Rape by Strangers, Not Acquaintances

A New York City police captain has blamed the lack of arrests in sexual assault reports on the fact that most of the reported cases were “acquaintance rape.”

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